The winds of change...

Throughout history we have seen many changes upon this great mass called earth. It started as wild and as free as God could make it... then he made man and woman, and through their procreation, many decades later, we stand here on this earth sifting through the misconceptions of our heritage. We stand to wounder if there is more to life then just being born and dying, if there is a purpose for our being, where we came from, where will we go... along with thousands of other questions , millions upon millions of people from throughout history, and millions upon millions of our future generations will have all pondered for the ultimate answers to our never ending questions.

However, there are are answers to these questions! It has taken me 25 years of trial and error to see the truth behind it all. From the first pair of human inhabitants to the generations to come, like the winds of change, only one thing will remain... and that is God! God is like the wind...The wind will always blow, you know its there even when you can't see it, but you can feel it with every fiber of your being! Our loving Father in Heaven is the same way.

I use to deny what I did not understand, because I did not want to understand it. I use to cry out "why me, why now, what did I do to deserve this" and I never knew the answers to my questions. My life for so long was constantly bringing me back to the same crossroads and making me feel as if I were in the same rut... digging it deeper and deeper as I kept making mistake after mistake. I felt alone, depressed, like no one could hear me scream. I had put my self in this place of despair and wanted to know how I got there and why could I not get out!
When you are this low in life, there is no where else to go but to your knees. I asked skeptically to God "What do I do"? I knew I had options for making my future better but I did not know where to go, how to get there, and when to get there. I took the opportunity, took my tax returns, rented a car, and drove hundreds of miles to investigate my future opportunities. I left everything behind... all my worries, all my family, everything! As I gained knowledge of what was truly out there for me, I also decided to drive several hundred more miles to visit an old friend from high school whom lived in the northern Rockies of Montana near the Canadian border. After spending several days there, I realised many things about my life and how I needed change everything! There was something about the air that made me feel like I was standing atop a mountain looking down at the vastness below me and knowing that nothing could bring me down! I had finally had my great epiphany!

Upon my return back to reality, I made a choice. I decided to make right my wrongs, to forgive and forget, and to become the person I wanted to be. My job was negative, so prayed and I was prompted to quit, so I did. 4 days later I was prompted to make a tanning appointment at my local tanning salon, So I did... I went in and as I was leaving I had a short conversation with the owner, and exactly one week from quiting my last job, I started working at the tanning salon. I was a nurse... with no other job skills... but God led me to where I needed to be because I was ready to listen and willing to put my trust in him! I prayed about wanting to be sealed in the Temple to my son, but I knew I was weak and I needed a strong person in my life to help me strive towards my goal, and now I am engaged to the most loving, man I know... He wants to help me become temple ready so we can be sealed together as a family! I prayed about school and furthering my education, and I know when the time is rite, we will make that happen... Why? Because I have a new found faith! I am finding the answers to my unanswered questions every time I pray, and in every scripture I read, and in every moment that I open my heart as well as my eyes and see what God has planed for me. I urge anyone who is at the crossroads and in the rut, to fall to your knees and pray! I know its not easy, it never has been and it never will be for sacrifice is the only way to become meek and humble in order to receive the blessings from our Father in Heaven.