Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
*Untitled*
The worst kind of evil is that disguised as kindness. For only true kindness comes from within the heart, where as evil disguised as kindness has no heart. There for to exert true kindness... you do so with all your heart! "Love one another as I love you"
Monday, April 19, 2010
Looking beyond the horizen...
Today Was AMAZING!!! I was sent on a scavenger hunt by the love of my life that lead me from one place to another... clues were left for me to decipher so that I could move on to the next step. I find it ironic yet thrilling how this concept is the same as what the Lord has been doing for me all the long! I was never much of a believer until now. I have been lead from one place in my life to another, finding clues (blessings in disguise) that are leading me to the ultimate gift! Like today I realised that sometimes it takes a double look at the true meaning of the clues that have been left for us to find. Too many times in the past have I ignored the underlined message or just looked at the surface, but today I learned to look beyond the horizon. After a fun search I was lead to a small clearing where my love stepped out from behind the trees and dropped to one knee... changing my pace from walking (more like skipping) to a full on run towards the man of my dreams whom was holding a little white box. I proceeded in my course of action and in the process I literally ran him over!!! (Excitement was poring from every inch of my being, i could not contain it any longer!) My bad!!! LOL We then went to my favorite restaurant that was open only for us and had the best meal ever!!! As I looked out the window at the sunset and the amazing view in the horizon, I saw a light skiff of clouds that almost looked like a path or a ladder that winded towards the heavens. As I looked past the horizon I realised that God was showing me that I was on the right path, and that I was working my way to be closer to him!
In a letter i wrote to a friend that is struggling with his faith and standing in the same cross roads that I once stood in, I said this: My life has been so clouded by the constant negativity that has burdened my life for so long, and by taking my little road trip and leaving behind everything, and I mean everything, I was granted the clarity to see past the horizon and realize that my trials have made me stronger then I ever thought I was. It has taken me 5 years of physical pain, heart ache, wrong choices, trial and error, and much more... before I was able to understand the hidden messages and lessons that I was supposed to learn. I still feel scared of what the future holds for me, and I don't feel that I am all that worthy to receive the blessings that have been given to me but I need to quit judging my self from my past and and let God judge me for what he sees in me!
Dreams do come true! My son will have a father, I will have a loving husband, we will have a perfect family, and the best part is we will bea sealed together for all of time and eternity! Thank you Lord!!!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
The little things...
I find it ironic when people say this to me... "Its the little things that add up" ... Why... because this true statement can be used to describe both negative and positive things that do eventually add up. I am all for the good little things that add up but its the negative ones that come back to haunt you later in life! Like last nights dinner... (darn you prepackaged food!) The real question is... now that the little things have added up and have become rather large... What do you do with it?
The Positive: Take it... be happy... and just run with it... (as long as its not a pointy object you should be OK)
The negative: its like playing Jenga... in order to sort through it all, you have to take out the pieces one at a time and in the rite order, or it all comes crashing down on ya... (Warning! Thought the whole point of the game is to have it crash on someone, while you role around on the floor laughing to the point of a near peeing the pants incident... Its not fun when its real life and those once was little, now BIG things come barreling down upon you like a freight train with no breaks....)
The trick is to deal with those little things when they are little... because if you don't... it almost has the same effect as breading dust bunnies... before you know it there is a gajillion of them running rampid, before you can say Evil Shenanigans!
Well I get to go play Jenga while running with scissors and trying to evict the colony of dust bunnies before they take over my house and eat my Lucky Charms!
The Positive: Take it... be happy... and just run with it... (as long as its not a pointy object you should be OK)
The negative: its like playing Jenga... in order to sort through it all, you have to take out the pieces one at a time and in the rite order, or it all comes crashing down on ya... (Warning! Thought the whole point of the game is to have it crash on someone, while you role around on the floor laughing to the point of a near peeing the pants incident... Its not fun when its real life and those once was little, now BIG things come barreling down upon you like a freight train with no breaks....)
The trick is to deal with those little things when they are little... because if you don't... it almost has the same effect as breading dust bunnies... before you know it there is a gajillion of them running rampid, before you can say Evil Shenanigans!
Well I get to go play Jenga while running with scissors and trying to evict the colony of dust bunnies before they take over my house and eat my Lucky Charms!
Friday, April 9, 2010
The winds of change...
Throughout history we have seen many changes upon this great mass called earth. It started as wild and as free as God could make it... then he made man and woman, and through their procreation, many decades later, we stand here on this earth sifting through the misconceptions of our heritage. We stand to wounder if there is more to life then just being born and dying, if there is a purpose for our being, where we came from, where will we go... along with thousands of other questions , millions upon millions of people from throughout history, and millions upon millions of our future generations will have all pondered for the ultimate answers to our never ending questions.
However, there are are answers to these questions! It has taken me 25 years of trial and error to see the truth behind it all. From the first pair of human inhabitants to the generations to come, like the winds of change, only one thing will remain... and that is God! God is like the wind...The wind will always blow, you know its there even when you can't see it, but you can feel it with every fiber of your being! Our loving Father in Heaven is the same way.
I use to deny what I did not understand, because I did not want to understand it. I use to cry out "why me, why now, what did I do to deserve this" and I never knew the answers to my questions. My life for so long was constantly bringing me back to the same crossroads and making me feel as if I were in the same rut... digging it deeper and deeper as I kept making mistake after mistake. I felt alone, depressed, like no one could hear me scream. I had put my self in this place of despair and wanted to know how I got there and why could I not get out!
When you are this low in life, there is no where else to go but to your knees. I asked skeptically to God "What do I do"? I knew I had options for making my future better but I did not know where to go, how to get there, and when to get there. I took the opportunity, took my tax returns, rented a car, and drove hundreds of miles to investigate my future opportunities. I left everything behind... all my worries, all my family, everything! As I gained knowledge of what was truly out there for me, I also decided to drive several hundred more miles to visit an old friend from high school whom lived in the northern Rockies of Montana near the Canadian border. After spending several days there, I realised many things about my life and how I needed change everything! There was something about the air that made me feel like I was standing atop a mountain looking down at the vastness below me and knowing that nothing could bring me down! I had finally had my great epiphany!
Upon my return back to reality, I made a choice. I decided to make right my wrongs, to forgive and forget, and to become the person I wanted to be. My job was negative, so prayed and I was prompted to quit, so I did. 4 days later I was prompted to make a tanning appointment at my local tanning salon, So I did... I went in and as I was leaving I had a short conversation with the owner, and exactly one week from quiting my last job, I started working at the tanning salon. I was a nurse... with no other job skills... but God led me to where I needed to be because I was ready to listen and willing to put my trust in him! I prayed about wanting to be sealed in the Temple to my son, but I knew I was weak and I needed a strong person in my life to help me strive towards my goal, and now I am engaged to the most loving, man I know... He wants to help me become temple ready so we can be sealed together as a family! I prayed about school and furthering my education, and I know when the time is rite, we will make that happen... Why? Because I have a new found faith! I am finding the answers to my unanswered questions every time I pray, and in every scripture I read, and in every moment that I open my heart as well as my eyes and see what God has planed for me. I urge anyone who is at the crossroads and in the rut, to fall to your knees and pray! I know its not easy, it never has been and it never will be for sacrifice is the only way to become meek and humble in order to receive the blessings from our Father in Heaven.
However, there are are answers to these questions! It has taken me 25 years of trial and error to see the truth behind it all. From the first pair of human inhabitants to the generations to come, like the winds of change, only one thing will remain... and that is God! God is like the wind...The wind will always blow, you know its there even when you can't see it, but you can feel it with every fiber of your being! Our loving Father in Heaven is the same way.
I use to deny what I did not understand, because I did not want to understand it. I use to cry out "why me, why now, what did I do to deserve this" and I never knew the answers to my questions. My life for so long was constantly bringing me back to the same crossroads and making me feel as if I were in the same rut... digging it deeper and deeper as I kept making mistake after mistake. I felt alone, depressed, like no one could hear me scream. I had put my self in this place of despair and wanted to know how I got there and why could I not get out!
When you are this low in life, there is no where else to go but to your knees. I asked skeptically to God "What do I do"? I knew I had options for making my future better but I did not know where to go, how to get there, and when to get there. I took the opportunity, took my tax returns, rented a car, and drove hundreds of miles to investigate my future opportunities. I left everything behind... all my worries, all my family, everything! As I gained knowledge of what was truly out there for me, I also decided to drive several hundred more miles to visit an old friend from high school whom lived in the northern Rockies of Montana near the Canadian border. After spending several days there, I realised many things about my life and how I needed change everything! There was something about the air that made me feel like I was standing atop a mountain looking down at the vastness below me and knowing that nothing could bring me down! I had finally had my great epiphany!
Upon my return back to reality, I made a choice. I decided to make right my wrongs, to forgive and forget, and to become the person I wanted to be. My job was negative, so prayed and I was prompted to quit, so I did. 4 days later I was prompted to make a tanning appointment at my local tanning salon, So I did... I went in and as I was leaving I had a short conversation with the owner, and exactly one week from quiting my last job, I started working at the tanning salon. I was a nurse... with no other job skills... but God led me to where I needed to be because I was ready to listen and willing to put my trust in him! I prayed about wanting to be sealed in the Temple to my son, but I knew I was weak and I needed a strong person in my life to help me strive towards my goal, and now I am engaged to the most loving, man I know... He wants to help me become temple ready so we can be sealed together as a family! I prayed about school and furthering my education, and I know when the time is rite, we will make that happen... Why? Because I have a new found faith! I am finding the answers to my unanswered questions every time I pray, and in every scripture I read, and in every moment that I open my heart as well as my eyes and see what God has planed for me. I urge anyone who is at the crossroads and in the rut, to fall to your knees and pray! I know its not easy, it never has been and it never will be for sacrifice is the only way to become meek and humble in order to receive the blessings from our Father in Heaven.
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